As a mom of littles who spends most of my time at home with them, I often experience a disconnect between what I want to do and what I actually do. I want to speak kindly, and with patience, but I can only handle so much crying about the way I cut their lasagna before my brain moves into some sort of fight or flight mode. I then no longer function as the mom I had always envisioned and hoped I would be… Hulk mom comes out. I say things I don’t mean, I do things I regret, and then shortly afterward the mom-guilt parade pulls into town tooting its horn with much excitement. UGH.
I have found a solution that works for me (most of the time). A time-out. Not for the normal cognitively appropriate irritating behavior of adolescents, but for me. The adult, who has legitimate needs, desires, and wants that are pushed to the side throughout the hectic day of caring for everyone else.
Some things that have worked for me: sometimes all of them, sometimes just one at a time… I walk away, breathe deeply, close my eyes, massage my earlobes, step outside, move my body like swinging my arms around and stretching my back, I send a friend a Marc Polo to commiserate with me. But the biggest help is simply having regular me time. Going out with friends, going on a walk around the neighborhood. Being reminded how short this season is with little kids and to try and enjoy it!
Thus, a Mom’s time-out in the community was born! Would you come join us? Come release some stress, make a fun little project, enjoy a snack, have a conversation with an adult without an agenda!
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